i talk about why i wrote this here : https://nbtlistening.in/2023/12/20/in-which-martin-reveals-some-personal-history-and-breaks-the-4th-wall/

The silence slammed down
Sudden, sincere and sure
He had let the shower attack enfold him
The drowsy hum of the bathroom heater fan
Watching his reflection through mild neon flicker
He had been thinking
‘Those are not superheroes arms,
Maybe in a black and white photo
High contrast, angles artistically skewed just so’
He was about to pose, when
The silence slammed down
The lights went out
And the tiny room that was his bathroom
Became smaller.
He stood there in the centre of his world
And waited.

‘Maybe when you are this old
You are naturally braver, or,
You just don’t give a fuck’’

The sounds of his universe came back slow
Chatter, the trolley with the impatient squeak
Some metal dish starting it’s clutter tune

Soon there would be others
Intruding
Gentle yes
Intruding still.

Tiredness squeezed him spiteful bear hug like
He made it to the bed and sat there
Out of breath

Taking in photos of grandchildren who
Do not really know who he is.
Fumbled for his wallet and found the old snapshot
Faded folded over
Much like his soul he thought
His girl, their shared smile,
The world about to open up and
Swallow them.

‘’where did she go, is she still alive?
That day i grabbed her hand and we
Ran for the bus
I should not have let go
(She seemed surprised that i did)’’

‘’Does anyone still say ‘hit a luck?
And if not, who cares, I know what it means
And i am the only one talking right now’’

The room he has ended up in,
Is two doors away from the entrance to the garden
Which has a gate that isn’t locked

Dressed now, his life savings close to his heart
He looked around at his finite world
One final time

‘’I have lived several lives
Loved,lost and loved again
I wonder if she is still alive
Perhaps somewhere warmer’’

Quieter
Quieter than her life was when they were together

‘’they will not miss me’’

Time for a walk.

He was never seen again.